And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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