she was so not down for the gang bang
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
