Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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