i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
the day after is always just damage control
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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