Have you finally orgasmed yet?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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