dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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