The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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