I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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