She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize