Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
the raccoons are back...
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