I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
