i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
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We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
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I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
