I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
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