Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
so let's talk penis.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
