remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize