i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
