ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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