you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
