unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
