I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
