Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
