I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
