Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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