I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
