I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I think I sprained my soul last night
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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