I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
