Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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