Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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