I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
