I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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