I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
