I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
