susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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