I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
