you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
