I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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