would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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