ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
