So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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