I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
