Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
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