and she was petting her beer can
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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