I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
