why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
