im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
