No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
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