I feel like abortions should bother me more
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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