I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
People in love make me want to vomit
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Randomize
