Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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