I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
