And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
