Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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