is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
