he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
