If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
