do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Houston, we have a squirter
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
How does one acquire holy water?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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