Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
