Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
