ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
we should paint friendship bongs
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