no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
